If you’re an introvert, then it’s most likely that at least once in your life you’ve been made feel like being an introvert is wrong, something you should grow out from and leave behind. I know I have. And people keep doing it, actually. Unfortunately, that’s the general belief and it it isn’t something we can easily change. But what we can do, is change how we react to these things.
Shit people tell introverts
- You should talk more, you’re too quiet.
- You never go out anywhere. You’re boring.
- People won’t notice you if you don’t make yourself stand out.
- Don’t be shy, it’s rude.
- You won’t succeed in life you continue being like that.
You shouldn’t feel bad about being an introvert because:
You notice things regular extrovert folks don’t
We’re quiet and observant as a general rule. Don’t sweat it if you don’t think you’re being participative or talkative enough. There is no ‘enough’. There is great value in being able to listen and watch instead of making others do it all the time.
Your friends will understand you if they’re really your friends
I know you must have heard this one before. I know how little comfort and help it brings. Because yeah… No. If they’re really your friends they will try to understand, but they won’t really. They will go do their extroverted activities, and even though it was your decision, you will feel unavoidably left out.
I’ve been there, and it’s awful, and I have yet to discover how to make it not awful except for just shouldering through it.
You should do what you enjoy and avoid what makes you unconfortable
If going to parties or being surrounded by large groups of people for long periods of time makes you cringe, then don’t put yourself through that just to do what everyone else is doing. I’ve learned from experience, repeated experience, that peer pressure can subside when you agree to go to a party, but on top of instantly regretting, you will also have to actually go through it, and spend the whole time thinking about how much more fun you’d be having at fun with Netflix.
If you don’t say anything, it’s because you simply have nothing to say
This is something I realized about myself and most introverts that was the catalist for me having a completely different view on what means to have an introverted personality.
I was never one to participate a whole lot in classes at school, and teachers continously told my parents that I was a ‘good student’, but that I should participate more. I had troubles speaking in front of people. My face turned red, and specially when I expressed my opinion. But I grew up, and the necessity, the will to speak my mind was born from within me. When I was ready, and when it was pertinent, I spoke. When I had to do an oral presentation, I did it. I wasn’t super comfortable, I still have that problem; but the paralyzing fear isn’t there anymore.
And now I’m even looking for opportunities to speak in public about the problems Ecuador has in the publishing industry, and with encouraging teens to read. I want to speak. Because it’s something I’m passionate about.
So, next time you start feeling bad about being ‘too quiet’, remember there are other things that you just won’t shut up about. And it’s okay, because we only speak when we have something to say.
It doesn’t mean you will fail in your professional life
If your dream job is being a public self-help speaker, something that places you in front of a lot of people all the time, under their scrutiny, forced to express your ideas; then I can assure you, even though you may struggle, you will succeed eventually. You’ll reach a point where your enthusiasm for doing what you like will completely overpower any awkwardness, if it doesn’t happen right away.
You’re a capable, smart and motivated human so you will do what you have to do to achieve your goals and make your dreams come true. Being an introvert doesn’t mean you’re in a cage of stereotypes.
Finally, don’t ever think being an introvert is something you have to grow up from
Introversion isn’t a phase, or something you have to change about yourself. It’s a beautiful kind of personality that, of course, comes with its challenges, but no matter how alone you might feel, remember there are many more like you out there, and we know what it’s like, and we’re here. 🙂
I loved this. I love how more and more people are speaking up about being an introvert, and about how there is nothing wrong with being a comfortably quiet individual. Wonderful blog post.
I’m so glad this was useful to you!
I so relate to this post, and all your points are super encouraging! Just yesterday I had my yearly appraisal at work and was told by the new manager who has only been there a few weeks that I’m ‘too quiet’, and it really did annoy me. I think introverts in general are so undervalued and seen as people who need to be ‘fixed’ (basically made into extroverts), but personally I think you need a good mix of different types of people, as they all have different strengths.
Awesome post! 🙂
Laura recently posted this awesome thing…Five Reasons To Read The Classics
Grrr Yes, totally! We’re all different and people should stop trying to change others (in this matter, at least). Because in this aspect, there is no WRONG, or RIGHT. There is just DIFFERENT.
Pamela Nicole recently posted this awesome thing…Why It’s Completely OK to Be an Introvert
I’m an introvert and I definitely got told all of those shitty things you’ve bulletpointed above.. It was especially disheartening when I was younger (and even shyer) because I did want to go out and “have fun” but to me, staying home and reading a good book seemed like way more fun. I don’t think I’ll ever grow out of being an introvert and I’m glad because this a part of me that I (finally) like! 😀 One of the perks is that I can always use the excuse of “too much homework” while still being content with staying at home and studying.
Rachana recently posted this awesome thing…book review: the star-touched queen
Haha, I usually say that too. Sometimes it’s even true! But I end up doing something else entirely like reading XD
I’ve heard all of those shitty things people say to introverts. It’s so stupid. Or: “you’ll feel like going out once you do, I promise”. No, I won’t. And I’ll end up ruining your night too because I’m not having fun.
And I so agree with all of your points! Especially the one that states that we don’t usually talk unless we have something to say. Sometimes, in a conversation people will ask me whether I’m okay because I’m not saying much. But if I don’t have anything productive or interesting to add, why talk? What would I say?
I’m so grateful for posts like yours. People really need to try and understand introverts more. I’m not depressed. I’m not being rude. I’m not boring. I just like different things than you do.
I think being an introvert helps me be a better friend at times. Like you said, I tend to be more observant than my other friends and notice when something’s wrong faster. I’ve found a roommate/best friend who does understand me, and never pushes. And I have found this reading community/blogging community through other people who love to read -which is usually a solitary activity…
Jolien @ The Fictional Reader recently posted this awesome thing…Top Ten Tuesday: On My Shelf for the Longest Time
It’s always so comforting when people do get it and don’t push. I have some friends who do push, and some that don’t. I love them all the same, but still I wish the ones that push too much would relax a bit. And the reading community is a definite plus because there are so many lovely extroverts and fellow introverts that become social when it’s about books! 😀