The Best Way to Deal with Drama: Avoid it like the PLAGUE
Fights, arguments, heated discussions; drama in general, for the most part, makes me nervous. I have my opinions, and I like expressing them just as much as the next person, but sometimes, it comes down to deciding if engaging in drama is really worth it.
Most of the time, it isn’t. But it’s amazingly easy to get carried away in the internet. Or sometimes you just get caught up in the middle of it. To avoid drama, you only have to follow basic human etiquette.
- Treat others with respect.
- Don’t attack other’s belief’s.
- Don’t leave space for misunderstandings. Be upfront. (When running giveaways, or participating in aything that involves more people, always be careful.)
But if you can’t…
1. Is It Worth It?
I’ll tell you a little secret:
Even if you’re right, the other person will 90% of the time, never admit to it, and will rather go down fighting than to completely agree with you.
That’s right. No matter how valid your arguments are, to the point that the other person’s refusal to accept them becomes absurd, it will be very hard to convince them to concede.
2. Decide what you Hope to Accomplish
Do you truly feel offended, or affected in any way by this person/situation? And if you do engage, what is it exactly you want to accomplish? If there are other people already discussing, maybe you should think if what you’re doing is really supporting, and not just adding wood to the fire for the sake of it.
3. Speak Calmly/ Write with a Calm Tone
Alrighty, so you feel you really have to speak up, for whatever reason. A good one. But, for the love of god, be the bigger person. There’s nothing more embarrasing than having your ‘opponent’ speak politely to you, while you respond, not only aggressively, but rudely too. The rude person is the one who always looks bad, even if he’s right. If you think you’re in the right side of the fence, then look the part.
4. Know When to Stop
Once you’ve said what you wanted to say, and the some, you’ll probably want to wrap things up and take your leave. Too often, we encounter stuff like this:
Jane: And I’m right because this, and this, and this. Blah blah blah.
Mary: No, I’m right, and you’re very stupid. Blah blah blah.
Jane: Well, I just want to say blah blah blah. And if you don’t want to see it, then I’m very sorry. But I’m leaving. Bye.
Mary: Yeah, you say that because of blah blah blah. You don’t know what you’re talking about.
Jane: Just for the record, I AM right. Blah blah blah
And it never ends. If you say you’re leaving, then dear god, do it! Don’t come back! Don’t respond! Everyone will want to have the last word, and it takes a considerable effort to not to go back, but you have to, because like I said in the first point, the person is probably not going to change his mind, and if he does, he will not tell you, so don’t waste your time.
Drama shouldn’t happen in the first place, but when it does, we must be very careful. People involved get hurt, friendships are torn, and in the end, it doesn’t help anybody. Problems are bound to happen, but as teenagers, almost adults, and adults, who know our way through epic mythical battles, effectively dealing with mortals should be less problematic than how we’re currently doing it.
So very true. I try to stay completely out of drama, and any time I post anything that might be touchy, I am ultra-careful about how I word things. The best thing you can do is just not engage!
Nicole @ Feed Your Fiction Addiction recently posted this awesome thing…The Orphan Queen by Jodi Meadows – Review
I hate drama. Sometimes I see references to Twitter drama on my feed but I never know what it is about because I don’t follow people who make drama.
Heather recently posted this awesome thing…Ink and Bone by Rachel Caine
This is some great advice, and I especially like the tip about knowing when to stop. It does get pretty ridiculous when you see someone say ‘well this is what I think, and I’m going to leave it there’, and the next thing you know they’re back, going on about it some more. They’re just undermining themselves!
I try and avoid drama like the plague too, but you still see it everywhere you look, so this was a very interesting post.
Laura recently posted this awesome thing…Review: A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas
Yep, it’s hard to not too get involved sometimes, when it seems to be everywhere. This actually helped me create some guidelines for myself as well, so I’m very pleased 🙂